Greeting

Greeting jokes

Friend

    • A friend texts to another:

    "Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

    The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

    To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

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    • Blackmail

    • At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

    Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

    Sea

    • How does the sea say hello?

    It WAVES you.

    SEA what I did there?

    I'm SHORE you saw it.

    Don't be SALTY!

    Knife

    • So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

    Her boyfriend said "Hi."

    I said, "Knife to meet you!"

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    • Psycho

    • I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"

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