Gonna jokes

I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

When the school shooter finds you and you think you’re gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.

Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.

Emo kids counting be like: 1, 2, 3 come hang with me! 4, 5, 6 Gonna get new slits! 7, 8, 9 Suicide! 10, 11, 12 Bring some pills!

My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.

The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"

The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"

The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?