Goes jokes

A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"

What is red, white, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

Old man goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

What do skeletons hate the most about wind?

Nothing, it goes right through them.

According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.

An SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"