God

God jokes

Race Car

Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.

Orphan

God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.

Oven

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

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  • Terrorist

    Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.

    Memes

    Orphan

    Why do orphans like to go to church?

    Because they actually have a father there.

    Home

    I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

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  • Hitler

    God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.

    Hitler: 👌👌👌👌

    God: 😩😩😩😩

    Toaster

    And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

    But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.

    Wife

    My wife treats me like God!

    She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

    Gift

    Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

    He didn't give me any.

    I was made by the Devil.

    Difference

    What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

    God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

    Jesus

    Why is Jesus in pieces?

    Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.

    Sunglasses

    God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

    Moron

    Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

    Hairline

    Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

    Orphanage

    When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

    Dick

    "My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.