God

God Jokes

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.

God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.

When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."

"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"

"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."