Go jokes

My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.

Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?

Snowhere.

Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.

Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.

When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?

Son: Ok dad.

AFTER TEST

Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?

Son: Son?