Go jokes
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"
He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Memes
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Why do trans women go by she/her?
Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.
When you get mad, just punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their mom?
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?