Go jokes
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Memes
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"
Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"
"Our wedding video."
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?
A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle Joe last summer."