Go jokes
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
One day, a cop pulls a van over, and when he walks up to the window, he sees ten penguins in the back.
The cop asks the man, “Are those your penguins?”
The man says, “Yes, they are my pets.”
The cop replies to the man, “You need to take them to the zoo right now.”
So the man agrees and drives off. The next day, the cop pulls over the same van, and he walks up to the window and sees the ten penguins all wearing sunglasses.
The cop says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.”
The man says, “I did! Today, we are going to the beach!”
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
It did not rain very often when Chuck Norris was a kid.
Why?
Because his favorite childhood song was "Rain Rain Go Away."
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?
people go there to fix their mistakes.