Go jokes

What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

What did Bonnie say to Chica?

"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

Why did piglet go to the bathroom?

To search for Poo.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common?

people go there to fix their mistakes.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."