Go Jokes

What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

What did Bonnie say to Chica?

"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

.c

An image shows a large bomb hanging from a ceiling. The text below reads: "This prank is going to be crazy" with two skull emojis.

Why did piglet go to the bathroom?

To search for Poo.

What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?

They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."

I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To hear some "foster" parenting advice.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?

Because there is no ramp to heaven.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈