Go jokes
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
I was going to tell an Asian joke, but it's too Wong.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Why did the ion always lose at Go Fish?
Because he was playing with a cheetah!
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
"Can we do 69?"
"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
What is wet going up and wet going down but doesn't move?
A mountain!
hehehehehehehehehehe
Where did a chicken orphan go?
A foster home.
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
Person one: Why did the boy go home?
Person two: Why?
Person one: Because he had PHOAM work to do!
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sally.
Sally who?
You're going to bed right now.
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.