Go jokes
Your hairline is so dusty that it got musty.
Why can't orphans go to the store? Because they throw everything around.
Why did the other Down syndrome guy say to the other Down syndrome guy?
What is going on here?
Breakfast! 😂
What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?
They're black and go off.
I've been doing sex moves on myself so I can be ready when I have sex, and by far the funniest thing to do is finger my butt. I go 2 handed sometimes.
Pewdiepie: I am the best YouTuber ever!
T-Series: Go away you f***!
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
Your momma is so fat that she can't even go skinny dipping.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
Kids- it's time for Dora.
Kids- YAY!
Nick Jr. host- Today Dora is going on a big adventure with Grandma.
Swiper- Hello kids, I am trying to find my way to Diego's. Will you please help me?
Kids- Where's Dora?
Swiper- She's under cardiac arrest.
Kids- Poor Dora.
Everybody- SWIPER NO SWIPING!
Swiper - AH MAN!!
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
God creates a wasp :)
God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.
Angel: okay... a bug.
God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.
Angel: weird.. but okay...
God: and give it wings.
Angel: eh, not half bad Go-
God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS
Angel: *shook* o-okay
God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.
Angel: . - .
God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*
Angel: *cries*
Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!