Go jokes
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
When you go to Incestry.com instead of Ancestry.com.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
What did the skeleton say when his girlfriend said, "I'm gonna break your heart?"
He says, "Go ahead, you're not breaking my 206 healthy bones!"
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
I'm sorry for your loss.
It is going tibia okay.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!