Go jokes
Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.
Friend: What kind?
Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.
Friend: That's not funny..
Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.
Friend: I'm calling your mom.
Me: She knows.
Friend: What's she doing to help, then?
Me: She's supposed to help?
Friend: Have you told your dad?
Me: I will when he comes back.
Friend: Where is he?
Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.
Friend: ....
Me: What?
Friend: Why?
Me: Why what?
Friend: Why would you joke like that?
Me: I was joking..
Friend: I know.
Me: Oh. I didn't know.
Friend:...
Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.
Confucius says, "Man who walks through airport door sideways with erection, is going to Bangkok."
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What is the best day to go to the beach?
On Sunday.
Knock knock. Who is there? Poo. Poo who? Hey, I need ta go poooooooooooop!
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
I’m going to be scared of diesel.
शाला टाइटैनिक को à¤à¥€ यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!