Go jokes
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."