If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
What does an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Michael Jackson broke his window what dose he say? i cant sehe
DUDE all Hitler ask for was a glass of juice, but every one misheard him.
your hairline so far back that when i put on my glasses i thought i saw a M for Mcdonald's on your hairline
Ur forehead is so big that when u put glasses on top of ur head it falls off
dont say u want to eat out a five year olds pussy cuz i have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy UwU
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby he got invited to dinner with his neighbour little Johnnys dad said if. he mentioned ears he will get a spank so Johnny looked in the basonet they were talking about the new baby Johnnys mum said what beautiful eyes that is great said little Johnny. because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi
GOTTVERDAMMT HANS I SAID “GLASS OF JUICE” NOT “GAS ZE JEWS”
what does cinderella wear to the beach
glass slipers
My friend has glasses and we were talking about owls, and i told my friend to give a owl glasses. i told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl! (`~look up spectacled owl~`)
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk
god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.
I don't see why women are complaining about the glass ceiling, I mean if they reach high enough they can clean it...
The Wine Taster At An Old Vineyard Died. A Homeless Guy, Looking Ragged And Dirty, Came To Apply. He Persuaded The Manager To Give Him A Try. The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.
The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the Northeast slope, stored in a steel vats.”
The manager was amazed. He winked at his secretary. The secretary understood and brought out a glass of urine. The drunkard tasted it and said. "It's a blond, 27 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don't get this job, I'll tell who the father is!"
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Did you know that if you die you can still be apart of family game night!! all you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass and the games that uses hour glasses well you will be apart of family game night.
