Glad jokes
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
"Orange you glad I made it?"
why the fuck is steam there ????
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
Glad to present you a wood clock.
https://olegon.ru/clock/
Orange you glad you are not a comedian?
The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"
The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Dad, sad, bad, rad, nad, tad, glad, clad, plaid, had.
Aaron, you glad I didn't make this joke?
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?