Girls jokes

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

Why are some girls scared easily?

They don't have balls.

Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

A. Has an abortion.

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?

Put ranch dressing on it.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.