Girls jokes

Love

I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Apple

If you drop an apple and an emo girl, who falls first?

The apple, because the emo girl hung herself.

Girl

Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

Abortion

Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

A. Has an abortion.

Memes

Bomb

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Butterfly

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

Click

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

Baby

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

Girlfriend

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Disease

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

Doctor

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

Pedophile

Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.

Heart

The girl asks her boyfriend, "Are you jealous of my heart?"

He says, "No."

She says, "Because it's pumping in me and you're not."

Dad

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Rape

Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

She said a monster attacked her.

Programmer

A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."