Girls jokes

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

What is the best type of girl to fuck?

Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.

There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said, “NICE CUT G!”

All school meeting introductions:

Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

Bf: Do you love me?

Gf: Most of the time.

Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.

Gf:...

Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?

Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.

Bf: Why?

Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.

Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!

Gf: Ohh...

A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"

Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."

"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?

She was fed up with the hole business.

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?

They can’t say no.