Girl jokes

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

A girl has small balls.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!

Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.

But then why do boys want to? Oh...

I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.

"Roses are red, I'm a girl, Now go and take a hike."

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

Orphan: Let's play baseball!

Girl: No, you can't.

Orphan: Why?

Girl: Because you can't find home.

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

Boys are like minis.

Girls are like big pots.

Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.

How do you give an "Alabama Girl" a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"

Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.

Me: Mine DON'T :(

At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.

Why couldn't the girl with no arms hug her parents?

Because she had none of the above.

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

If you are a girl--you are allowed to read this.

Look down your shirt and spell attic.

Any girls on here?

A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"

The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."

I'm just gonna say it, and don't get offended, but I'm so sick of the media being on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.

Yes, women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth, etc.

But men have it pretty hard too, if not harder. Males are criticized for showing emotions.

Men have to go to war on the front lines.

Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.

Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer, meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.

Man-rape is unheard of in the media, and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.

We are expected to gather up our guts [and] ask a girl to be their girlfriend. We have to take them on dates, pay the bill, [and] buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months' worth of the money the man has made.

And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.

It's because most males do not want females to get hurt, yet we are criticized for this.

I propose an idea that on the 19th of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work, etc.

Who's going to put out all the fires? The two "firewomen" at the local fire station? Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?

Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.

(This event can be done worldwide.)

Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.

(I'm not against feminism; it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.

But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want, and never get criticized or face any consequences.)