Girl

Girl Jokes

The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

Do this on a calculator.

There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute."

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office.

The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.

Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

Girl: Can we visit Grandma this weekend?

Mother: Sure.

Five-year-old: Look mommy! Two people and they're wearing rope necklaces!

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.