Girl jokes

Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.

The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.

I like my girls like my file systems...

FAT and 16.

Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?

Because she has to get on her knees.

My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."

A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."

A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

Why did the penis go fly?

Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

Because they’ll get stoned.