Girl jokes

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Why did the penis go fly?

Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

Because they’ll get stoned.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

Me: But I didn't do anything?

Cop: No.

Me: So why are you arresting me then?

Cop: Imma tell you a story.

Me: Oh no.......

Cop: I know, now come on.

Me: Ok where?

Cop: My room.

Me: Which room?

Cop: My bedroom.

Me: 😱I'm a girl.

Cop: So am I, now get in.

Me: But I'm 9.

Cop: I'm 59.

What did the white girl say to the black girl?

"Where's the back?"

The girl in the picture has no ass.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.

A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

1, 2 you built like a dork.

3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.