Girl

Girl jokes

Leper

Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?

A: "Oops, I got your nose!"

Ranch

A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

Sex Offender

What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?

They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.

Bar

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.

Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."

Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."

"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."

Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."

Emo girl

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

Surface

Hey.

Girl: Hey.

Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.

Girl: What?

It says "spray on flat surfaces."

Calorie

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Mom

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

Forehead

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Period

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. πŸ€£πŸ™„πŸ˜΅

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

Pee

This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).

Dad: β€œTrust me, shitting is weirder.”

Banana

Why did a girl like bananas?

Because one day she might need to be ready.

Tornado

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.

Hospital

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.