Girl

Girl jokes

Grinch

    • If the Grinch was an average white thotty b.... girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6LmcrJq6oo

    If the Grinch was an average black girl: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYzLo8vjSqI&has_verified=1

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    • Pineapple

    • One time, there was a happy little girl. One day, her teacher asked how many legs and arms a pineapple have. She said,

    "You know those pokey things on it? That's how many."

    Teacher says, "That's dumb. They have zero." Then the next day, the girl set a fire in her house, and she burned her legs and arms. Then she survived and went to school. Then the teacher said, "I heard your house went on fire, and by the way, you know you don't have no arms or legs, right?" The girl said, "OK." Then the teacher asked the question the teacher asked yesterday again. She said, "What do you call a girl with no legs or arms?" The teacher said, "Answer my question!" The girl said, "OK, OK, the girl said 13." The teacher said, "Pineapples do not even have legs!"

    Then the teacher had to calm down. Then the teacher said to the girl, "Ask a question. Whatever you want." Then the girl said, "Ok, and I'm sorry, teacher." Teacher said, "It's ok, I need a break." The girl said, "What do you call a girl without legs or arms?" Someone from the class, her name was Nia, she said, "A worm." She said, "NO!!!" The teacher said, "Calm down. Just tell us what!" The girl said, "OK then." The girl said it.......

    And y'all who is reading my story, guess what the answer is before I tell you and by the way the girl's name is Sunny. Back to story.........she said the answer is A PINEAPPLE! Then when the teacher was calm, she told her to sit down. Then the teacher read a story, "The Three Little Pigs." Then the girl went home, she got a new house, then lived happily ever after.

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    • Pear

    • I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.

    Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."

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    • Girl memes

    Line

    • Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

    "I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

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    • Bus Driver

    • A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

    (Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

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    • Daughter

    • A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.

    Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

    Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

    Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.

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    • Sausage

    • This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

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    • Hand

    • What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...

    We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.

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    • Comedian

    • (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

    "Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump... what the fuck up with that dude, man?

    "Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!)

    . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for bein' fucked up, for instance ....

    STUMP: TEENY DICK

    BUMP: TINY TIT

    GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

    MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

    LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

    UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

    RUMP: AN ASS

    DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

    HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

    PUMP: SEE "HUMP"

    . . . and last, but definitely not least --

    JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BITCH!! ....

    HA! HA! HA! HA! YESSS!!

    .... well boys and girls, that's gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse!"

    ......(splort!, plop!, drip!)........ OOOOPS! 'snif, snif'........

    ..... ewwwwww!!

    (audience growing uneasy and unruly)

    "Fuhhk! ... I better go now, 'cause I just went! ... ha! ha! ha! ...... Yikes!!

    GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY!

    (curtain drops)

    (continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', fists fuckin', guns poppin', blood pumpin')

    "OH LORDY!!... I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,

    ... AND ARMAGITTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

    (one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi ............ with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew! ............ Amen.

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    • Class

    • Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"

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