Girl Jokes

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

SO TRUE

The image shows a collection of items and phrases associated with a loud, annoying girl at school. The text reads: "Annoying loud girl at school." Items include a black hoodie with "Thrasher" on it, a bag of Takis, a can of Arizona iced tea, a gold nameplate necklace that says "Tammy", black Nike slides, and a hand with long pink nails. Some phrases include: "HEY BESTFRIENDD!!" "BESTFRANNNN", "What you staring at for", "Always fighting", and "That's on periodt sis". The image also includes a photo of a girl. The text "Loudest person at 7am" is at the bottom.

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.

Girl: "...I like you... do you like me back?"

Me: "Nope."

Girl: *is depressed* "Oh okay...."

Me: "You never said \"love\"".

Girl: "Oh! well do you love me?"

Me: "Frick no."

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...

😭 😫 🤔 😳 😊 👨 👩 👨

Why did a bisexual man wanted a physically handicapped ♿ 👨‍💼 👨 👬 gay man to give him a anonymous blowjob under the stall inside the men'restroom 🚻 🚹 at a restarea? because getting a blowjob from a call girl 👧 cost $75.00 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 👬 👬 👬 👬 👬 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.