Girl jokes

What do girls and noodles have in common?

They both wiggle when you eat them.

A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”

A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.

Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.

Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.

Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.

One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”

What’s the best part about fucking suicide girls?

The pussies are limited edition.

Do trees pee?

How else do we have No. 1 pencils?

My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"

Me "OH NO" 💀

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.

A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.

Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."

Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."

I told the emo girl to stop playing fruit ninja on her wrists.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

Hey girl, are your pants a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in them.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

At first, I was a boy trapped in a girl's body, then I was born.