Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
Girl Jokes
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
