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What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll fuck you for $10." The boy says, “I would, but I don't have any money.” She says, “Ok, I'll take the duck instead.” He says ok, so they go upstairs and fuck.

The prostitute says, “That’s the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back and we can do it again.” So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and $25 for a fucked up fuck.

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

If this post gets 200 likes or comments, I will show up in a MrBeast video.

How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?

9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.

You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

Dark humor is like cancer; it's funnier when kids get it.

Is sex a joke? Because I don't get it.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

How do you get a clown to stop smiling?

You shoot him in the face.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."

I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

How do fish get to school?

By the octobus.

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Logan Paul left him hanging.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.

Cheer on the rapist if you want.

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.

I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.