Get Jokes

Have you heard of the new sequel to "the exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son

what is the difference between a orphan and a apple

apples get picked

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

get it?

What Can Change Color and get beat up? You

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas? I dont know, she's still trying to open it...

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow

When your driving past a graveyard say: wow people were just dying to get in there.

Mom: you need to grow up. your so immature

Me: *glares* get out of my castle ....

Mom: it's a pillow fort

Me: why cant i have an imagination!?

Mom: your almost 19 years old

Me: not good enough ... OUT!

Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}

A: a couch potato HaHaHa

So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I'm positive. This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!" "Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"

Kid: Dad where are you going

Dad: To get milk

TEN YEARS LATER

Kids friend: wheres your dad

Kid: he went to get milk but never came back

5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England's won. I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common? They both get turned on by children.

8008135 is my favorite number. The worst ratio is 6:9. And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?' Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

one day the teacher said "there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?" the teacher calls on lil johnny. "none" the teacher said ''no but try again'' lil johnny says " none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said'' not quiter but i like the way you think" lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones sucking it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?" the teacher then says "the one sucking it ofc" lil johnny then says "no the one with the ring but i like the way you think"

So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks "did you get her number?". He replies "no, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion"