Get jokes
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Why do orphans love getting r@ped?
Because they want to know what love feels like.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
What is an example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
Why do Russians drink grizzly bear piss?
Since vodka in Russia is so weak, Russians need a strong drink to get drunk.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.
Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?
Dumb Kid: DEADit?
Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!
Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!
Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.