Get Jokes

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?

Get a fucking job.

Why did the octopus cross the road?

To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙

How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?

They both get paid to eat 200 balls!

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.

Do you know why pedos get away with molesting orphans? Who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?

My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?

He would never make it home base.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

A: Neither of them get to see their parents.