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When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no friends.
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
Q: What do men and math tests have in common?
A: They get cheated on.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.