Get jokes
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
I am sooooooo bored, Gwen, can you please get on, or anybody, since I'm weirdly obsessed with Gwen.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?