what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped?
alien vs predator
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
My life.
Tell me when you get it.
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, โWhere is Jesus today?โ
Little Suzy replies, โHeโs in heaven.โ
Little Mary replies, โHeโs in my heart.โ
Little Johnny says, โHeโs in the bathroom!โ
The teacher says, โHow do you know this?โ
Then little Johnny says, โWell, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, โJesus Christ are you still in there!?โโ
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
