What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know. He hasn't opened it yet.
what is it called when an illegal immigrant is getting raped? alien vs predator
Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
How are school shooting victims and school shooting jokes similar?
They never get old.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female if you did not like it when you was a teenager you probably will not like it when you become a adult
You’re mamma’s so ugly, even the toaster wouldn’t get in the bathtub with her.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
My life
Tell me when you get it
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week." They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? -- They both want to get there before the hare does.
jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter
please like this. i bet my friend 20 bucks that i would get to 15 likes before him
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
