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What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
Why did the rapper start gardening?
He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Why did the caretaker of the Twin Towers get sacked?
He left the landing lights on.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
How do you get a million fowl?
You run through Africa with a bullet of water.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.