Get Jokes

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.


What time is it when you get home can you walk me home and get home and I can walk you home and walk home

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”