Get jokes

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.

I don't like the word "gun".

Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

*on a date*

me - "I get to work with animals all day."

her - "How sweet! What do you do?"

me - "I'm a butcher."

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

How do you get four prostitutes on one chair?

You turn it upside down.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”

Mirror: “You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!”

Condom: “Hahaha...”

I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.

My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"

When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?