What is the worst thing about breaking up with a japanese girl? You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down Syndrome!”
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. They're InDepEndent womem after all. Heck, cheer on the rapist. Or join in the fun
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”
What the difference between apples and orphans? An Apple gets picked
" Why is it that Orphans only play tennis" That's the only love they can get"...
why did the man say chickens were lucky..? because they get killed and eaten.
Why was the astronaut 👩🚀 washing her hands?
She was getting ready to eat launch 🚀🥪.
GET UP YOU LAZYBONES!
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism? It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. They guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own
What’s the a simulation between a penis and a rubix cube
The more you play with it the harder it gets
