Get jokes
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?
The tomato gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.
Why are Indians so good at football?
Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Roses are red. Watches are gold. Get on your knees and do what you're told.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.