Get jokes

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other side.

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?

He doesn't like commitment.

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.

Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.