When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
Get Jokes
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
What did Hitler get for his birthday?
A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?
