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Hitler

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

Condom

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

Orphan

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

Memes

Little Johnny

Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

The apples get picked.

Bullet

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

Baby

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

Orphanage

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

Plane

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

Behavior

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Suicide

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Orphan

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

Orphan

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".