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Teacher

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

Bounty

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

School Shooter

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Nickname

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

Memes

Hitler

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.

Orphan

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

Orphan

Why canโ€™t orphans get married?

Because they were already given away.

Orphan

what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Jimmy

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Way

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

Behavior

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

Slave

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.