The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Why don’t witches wear underwear?
To get a better grip on their broom.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?
Flatman and Ribbon.
you play gatcha life more like go get a life.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
What school subject does an orphan love?
PE because they actually get picked.
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:
https://schlechtewitze.com
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
