Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
Get off me homes.
Why didn't Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they're arms don't get tired..
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down. How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me*
“What do you call my friend group?* *Suicide Squad*
Girls are just like rocks the flat ones get skipped
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox? A blender
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips
I hate it when disabled people get bullied...
... because they can’t stand up for themselves
I said to Google How do i kill someone then i got https://www.wired.com/story/dark-web-bitcoin-murder-cottage-grove in the front before you click it it says if you want to kill someone we are the right guys.How the f this get in google
Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date? She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
what does a necrophiliac get at a wedding? mourning wood
WHY CANT MISS PIGGY COUNT TO 70? BECAUSE WHEN SHE GETS TO 69 THERE'S A FROG IN HER THROAT.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie
Why can't Mexicans play uno
Because they can't get.a green card
I never get school shooting jokes. Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience
What is the difference between a orphan and a apple Q: An apple gets picked.
