Get jokes
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.
Q: Why did the islamic chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the airport.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dick tater.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!