Get jokes

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

What school subject does an orphan love?

PE because they actually get picked.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

To get a better grip on their broom.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

If you want to get mental damage, visit the site:

https://schlechtewitze.com

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.

(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”

A: The chicken.

What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?

A DEPPression.

(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.

A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets seven years of bad luck.

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.

Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.