Get jokes

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Have you ever had duck sausage? No? How about you duck on down and get yourself some!

What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?

They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.

What does General Grievous say after he gets his penis growth pills?

A fine addition to my erection.

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

Where do mermaids get a job?

At the kelp wanted station.

Ur mum geiy 69 dinner 42 es dee get rekt kid 360 quikskope biatch!

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

Dark jokes are just like water.

Not everybody gets it.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

Science gets you to the moon.

Religion flies you into buildings.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?