Get jokes
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
Why do mostly younger orphans get adopted?
Because who wants a traffic an adult?
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!