Get jokes
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can’t look down.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
Why can orphans not play bingo?
Because they can't get a full house.
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Hi everyone that is mean to freshfry, Addison Banks, Drew, watersharky, Gwen, and jk master, fucking get off this site, bullies! I love everyone here except the bullies!
Yo mama is so dumb, she wanted to get some ice, but she went to Antarctica and actually got ice and brought wilt cream! 🤣
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree? The apples get picked.
How do you get a blonde to drown?
Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
Emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.