Get jokes
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why did Rhydon get an orphan...
Rhydon deez nuts!
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.