Get jokes

Yo mama so fat it took Nationwide three years to get on her good side.

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?

Erectile dysfunction.

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Girl: Dad, where are you?

Dad: I went to go get milk.

Girl: But we have milk.

Dad: I know, I just don't love you.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?

A dictator.

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!

Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.

What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

Why did the camel cross the road?

Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.

What time is it when you say no to everything? Time to get bored.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.