Get jokes
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
I got fired from a pickle factory for getting my finger caught in a slicer. They only gave *her* the day off with pay... unfair!
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
Me: Stops the quiet kid from getting bullied.
Him: Don't come to school tomorrow, trust me.
Me: "/"
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
Explain bear show yourself AND STOP RUINING MY ANTI TRUMP MEMES AND JOKES A IM COPING AND C THIS IS FOR JOKES AND MEMES also you are the Simpletin
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
Why do white people get abducted by aliens?
Because they're easier to see in the dark.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
"Rape is funny until it's your little sister or daughter getting raped."
Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks. Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world? (Ah-ah-ah-ah) And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped. Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl. Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.
Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want (ah). You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off (ah). It's like we never even happened. Baby, what the fuck is up with that? (Ha) And good for you, it's like you never even met me. Remember when you swore to God I was the only Person who ever got you? Well, screw that and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do. Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.
Ah-ah-ah-ah Ah-ah-ah-ah Maybe I'm too emotional But your apathy's like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Maybe I'm too emotional Your apathy is like a wound in salt Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy, not me. If you ever cared to ask. Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me, baby. Like a damn sociopath. I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom. But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it. But I guess good for you.
Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.