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What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
What did the orphan say to the other?
"Robin, get the Batmobile!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
What do women and dog turds have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
What do you get when you cross mums and makeup?
Beauty!
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
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What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"
The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.