Get jokes

If you are homeless, get a home.

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?

Not wanted.

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.

Let's beat that "lEtS gET 69 LikEs anD CoMmEntS" with 21 dislikes on this post. #21gang

The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

"Orphans get picked."

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.

This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

What's funny about sex? I don't get it.

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Addison, it's Emboy again. I just want to be honest, you sound like a tease! And teases get spanked.

Can I watch you?

Yes, you can watch me your watch.

No, I mean can I WATCH you?

I don't get it. 😑 *facepalm*.

OOOOOOH YOU MEAN WATCH WITH YOUR EYES! YES!

Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.

Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.

So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

You: I want my mama.

Me: Soz, you can't even get one.