Get jokes
Why did Jordan cross the road? So he could get to his house.
What did the parent say to M.J.?
"Get off my kid!"
Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
The glasses tho...
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
What is the same thing between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.