Get jokes
There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”
The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Memes
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
What happens when a pun isn’t funny?
It gets PUNished.
Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?
When baseball players want to get together, what will they do?
Touch base.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.