Get jokes
I never get off on the wrong foot.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
who's getting the best head
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and driver's education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
Why don’t Mexicans have sex education and a driver’s education on the same day?
Because the donkey gets tired.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.