Get jokes

What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!

Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

You soak balls, get it?

Why do orphans hate playing baseball?

'Cause they can't get a home run.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.

You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

Because he can't get home.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

What does a student always get on an alphabet test?

A!

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.

What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.