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What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
get me to 20 followers for milk
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Somebody shouts "Fire!"
Man 1: Get the children out!
Man 2: F*** the children!
Man 3: We don't have time!
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.
Dark humor is like a child with cancer...
Never gets old.
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? "We are Family."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.