Get jokes

What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

Why do orphans get an iPhone X?

Because they have no home button.

Your mom is so hot, if she had an OnlyFans page, she would get more money than companies during Pride Month.

Thing 1: What's the difference between nuts and almonds?

Thing 2: I don't know, what?

Thing 1: One gets hard faster.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

What disease do you get from eating fish?

Salmonella!

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?

A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to his owner.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple actually gets picked.

What’s the bravest thing a man can do?

Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.

What world record did the people in 9/11 get?

The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

How do skeletons get COVID?

From the coffin!