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What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Getting ready for gangbang.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?

He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Why do orphans play GTA?

So they can get wanted.

Why do orphans want to get married so bad?

To have someone to call "daddy."

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.