Get jokes

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

Why can orphans travel so much?

They don't get homesick.

"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."

Why did the people get a chicken?

To make eggs.

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?

Me: Because they can't get a homerun.

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.