Get jokes
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
Why did the woman get raped in the ass?
She assed for it.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Why don't wheelchairs have pedals, so when their arms get tired, they can keep going with their feet?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
What is worse than seeing your sibling drown?
Getting the water bill.
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.