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Candy

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

Orphan

Why do orphans want to get married so bad?

To have someone to call "daddy."

Cancer

Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."

This joke never gets old. Just like the child.

Memes

Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

Orphan

Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?

Me: Because they can't get a homerun.

Sister

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

Name

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

Sex

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

Orphan

You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Mouse

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Atheist

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Cat

When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"