Get jokes

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Why don't Indians play soccer?

Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!

How do you get a discount off groceries?

Scan the emo kid's wrists.

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!

Do you know why orphans can't get married?

Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?

And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.

Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣

Girls are like stones.

The flat ones get skipped.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."

The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"

Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!