Get jokes

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

If you drop something, make your short friend get it.

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.

Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

A: One of them gets picked.

I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.

Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.

What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"

Get it?

3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.

Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?

because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

What happens when skeletons score points in a game?

They get a bone-us.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.