Get jokes
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Joe: Why?
Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.
Jimmy: Knock knock.
Joe: Who’s there?
Jimmy: It’s the chicken.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
Me: Ok so let's get this straight....
Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.
Me: But I didn't do anything?
Cop: No.
Me: So why are you arresting me then?
Cop: Imma tell you a story.
Me: Oh no.......
Cop: I know, now come on.
Me: Ok where?
Cop: My room.
Me: Which room?
Cop: My bedroom.
Me: 😱I'm a girl.
Cop: So am I, now get in.
Me: But I'm 9.
Cop: I'm 59.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.