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    • One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

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    • Scientist

    • Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

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    • Get memes

    Church

    • Ok, here's a story about the church.

    There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.

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    • Man

    • A man was taking a young child into the woods.

    The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."

    The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."

    Family

    • Billy: *spits out food*

    Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

    Dad: *looks at mom*

    Mom: Shut up.

    If you get it, you get it.

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    • Brother

    • A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

    Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

    Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

    Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

    Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

    He came in twice.

    (like if u understand)

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    • Church

    • A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

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    • Uncle Jack

    • If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

    Friend

    • Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.

    Like and comment if you get it!

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