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What happens when a frog parks illegally?

It gets toad.

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

Pickup line for gay people:

Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody finds that one funny.

Roblox Talent Shows be like:

Host: Next Up is Bob!

Bob: Hi! I'll be singing Pian-

*Buzzing Noises*

Judges: You suck!

Bob: I'm reporting!

*Bob get's kicked from the server*

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A boner.

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?

Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.

Roses are red, oranges are orange.

Get a life, quit watching porn.

Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!