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Forest

    • There lived a jackal in a forest. He did not get the day's food, so he was very hungry and wandered throughout the forest, but could not find any food. Finally, he decided to go to the city. As he was walking into the city, he heard some dogs bark. Soon, he found a group of dogs running towards him, so he rushed into a nearby house which belonged to a dyer and fell into a tub filled with blue dye. The dogs that were chasing him returned back as they could not find him. The jackal came out blue from the tub and went into the forest. Every animal in the forest was frightened to see a new animal. The jackal realized that all animals were afraid of him and took advantage of the situation. He called the animals towards him. The jackal said, "Oh my dear friends, I have been sent by gods in heaven to protect you all. I will be the king of this jungle." All the animals became very happy. Everyday they served him food and took care of all his needs. They came to him with all their problems and listened to what their king said. One day as the king jackal was sitting by the court, he heard a pack of jackals howling in the forest. For a long time, he had not heard these voices. He felt very happy, forgetting he was the king, he howled back immediately. All the animals knew who he really was and started chasing him in anger, but the jackal was already on the run.

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    • Duck

    • A guy saw a person with a duck and said, "Where did you get a pig?"

    The owner replied, "It's not a pig, dummy!"

    The random guy said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the duck."

    Couple

    • A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

    Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.

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    • Hitler

    • Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?

    Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!

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    Dad

    • I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

    Moral

    • A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

    "My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    "Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"

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    • Tower

    • Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.

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    • School

    • School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

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    • Orphan

    • An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.