Get jokes
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
A black n***a crashes a neighborhood barbecue, bragging about his 'hood credentials' while hogging all the ribs and collard greens. The host calls him out, 'Yo, pay up or get out. Ain't no freebies here.' He laughs it off, 'Man, I run this block!' But the host's burly brother, who's been grilling the whole time, snarls, 'Wrong, fool. Time to settle the score.' He pins him against the picnic table, wraps a chain leash around his neck from the dog run, edges him with a vibrating basting brush slathered in hot sauce, and then plows his ass deep and hard, grunting, 'Now you're the main course, spicier than the jerk chicken!'
How do you get 1 million followers:
{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."