Get jokes

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.

What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.

The Cheerio Joke

Let's say you're in high school, and your popularity level was based on what Cheerio you are. So there's Extra-Frosty Cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted Cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there's the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there's your Cheerio which is the Chocolate Cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who's an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines.

So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut Cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular Cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty Cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty Cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes.

The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she's going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; "Oh there wasn't a punch line."

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.

When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"

I left a ticket to a WNBA game on the dashboard when I went to go get the groceries.

A burglar broke in and left another one on the dashboard.

If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.

Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭

what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.

(Also, I banged ya mum ;))

Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

Why did the orphan play GTA? So he could get wanted.