Get jokes
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
This is whats going to happen to all the junior high girls on here.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.