Get jokes
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Memes
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.
There's an upside to being an orphan; every snack they get is family size.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.