Get jokes
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
This is whats going to happen to all the junior high girls on here.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.