Get jokes

What is the difference between women and cars?

At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.

Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?

The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!

What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?

They both get a lot of crack.

Me yelling every gay slur to get suspended.

I’m in catholic school.

"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."

"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"

What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.

How to get into politics?

Fail art school.

Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?

A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)

If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?

I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.

Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?

Why did the one-armed man cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

Roses are red, Get on the ground, Gimme your stuff, Get ready to drown!

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?

A: To get to the other side to find his parents.

There was no other side of the road.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

This is how big cats were named.

"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."