Get jokes
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Q: What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
A: You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
I don't get why it is called abortion instead of murder.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
To stop my password from getting hacked, I changed it to something difficult to crack: "StrongBrazilianNut111".
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.