Get jokes
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
Why does it get hot after a baseball game?
'Cause all the fans have left.
What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Mom: Son, get up for school.
Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
----> [] get in the door.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.